A couple of weeks ago I confessed that I give up on books too easily. It was probably no secret since I have a whole feature called Book Breakups but that got me to thinking about about the process of breaking up with a book. I realized that I pretty much do the same thing every time it happens. It’s kind of like the grief process…except not as sad, of course, but I thought I’d share my book breakup process with you guys.
Maybe I’ve read 50 pages or 100, but I find my mind wondering. Maybe watching a movie sounds better than reading…maybe listening to my husband talk about football sounds better (this is when I know that something is wrong). I’m easily distracted. It takes me 2 days to read 100 pages. These are the symptoms of boredom…and how the breakup process begins.
This is the point where I pay Goodreads a visit and see all the delightful 4 and 5 star reviews. I determine that this is a problem with me. The book is obviously fantastic. I’m the screwed up one. This step usually contains a few whiny tweets as well.
After coming to the conclusion that this is all in my head I usually decide that I’M FINISHING THIS BOOK. This doesn’t last long…
Repeat step one. Except with a lot more frustration and a thorough Goodreads search for some not so positive reviews so that I can vindicate myself.
I think I’ll just read something else….No! I will finish it! Maybe…I’ll pick it back up after I read something else. (I never do) Noooo I’m just going to quit….but I’ll leave it on the coffee table in case I change my mind.
Some of these steps may differ a little–sometimes I go back and forth on The Decision for 2 days–but the end result with a breakup is always guilt. I want to love all the books. Every single one of them. So, when I don’t love one it makes me sad. That book will stare at me from the coffee table for days and make me feel guilty every time I see it. I don’t DNF books with a light heart…even if I really didn’t like it. But when I pick up something else and fall in love within a few pages I do feel a bit better. Apparently that book just wasn’t for me.
Do you guys have a process? Is it similar?
This is me every time. You hit the nail on the head! Awesome post
Steph recently posted..Spell Bound
Hi! Thanks for this great post – i always love when bloggers write about something out of the ordinary (aka reviews, memes…). I almost never give up on books but sometimes I think I should. When I come around a book I don’t really want to finish I force myself to and that usually ends up in skipping passages, thinking about soething else while reading so that at the end I ave no idea what the last 100 pages were about – I actually think that’s worse (because I waste so much time) than simply saying: Okay, that’s it. I just don’t like this book
Laura @ the Booksmartie recently posted..Review #18 Delirium – Lauren Oliver
Life is to short to read bad books!
I really can’t force myself to finish things I don’t like. I have great admiration for those that can.
haha that is SO TRUE! However I tend to STICK to reading my review books. However I have been through this process more than once before.
love this post!
- Juhina @ Maji Bookshelf
Juhina recently posted..Review: Entice by Jessica Shirvington – Juhina
I can definitely relate to pretty much all of your steps, including searching for good reviews to try to spur me own, as well as searching for bad reviews to confirm I am not the only one who needs to stop reading this book. I usually feel guilty because they are usually well loved books! The most notable was Graceling. I wish I liked it, but I just don’t.
Kate @ Kate’s Book Nook recently posted..Top Ten Tuesday – Top Ten Books On Your Fall TBR List
Ahh! I loved Graceling!! But lots of people didn’t, so you’re not alone. I’ve DNFed some HUGE book series….like TMI. Please don’t stone me!
I just went through this with The Map of Time… though I did force myself to read it since my sister loaned it to me!
Angie recently posted..The Map of Time by Félix J. Palma -Review
Same here with this book – I liked it at first, but then it just got … too much.
Tanya Patrice recently posted..Cinnamon Raisin Bagel With Apple Butter {Eating} And Who Fears Death {Reading}
I do the same thing – except, I spend a LONG time in the “power through phase” – and the boredom phase overlaps with it. And since I hate not finishing a book, I would add “skimming” some of the pages to get through. But there are a few books that after weeks, I just know finishing is never going to happen – Wolf Hall, Hilary Mantel was like that for me.
Tanya Patrice recently posted..Cinnamon Raisin Bagel With Apple Butter {Eating} And Who Fears Death {Reading}
I hate breaking up, but sometimes I just do! And yes it starts just like you said.. taking forever to read 100 pages and then .. being bored out of my mind. Worse, I look at my stack of waiting to be read and I see all those books begging me to read them while I spend time with a book that bores me.
I hate break ups, but I decided it’s only totally ok to break up with a book once in a while…
DannyBookworm recently posted..Stormdancer by Jay Kristoff Blog Tour & Giveaway
I’ve learnt to listen to my instincts about this. Maybe it’s because I write as well as read? If I hate something at page 100 the odds that I’m going to love it at page 300 aren’t that good. Basically, the force is not strong with this book. :p I think I’m doing everyone–me, my readers, the author, etc.–a favor by getting on with something I do like. Sometimes I will make an exception if something is hugely popular and people want my opinion on it. But for the most part, I just don’t have the discipline needed to plow through something that’s making watching grass grow look more interesting. It might not be a noble answer, but it’s honest.
Kathleen Ann Coleman recently posted..Feature and Follow Friday (Sept. 7th)
AGREE!!!! I read this and I was like … “She’s reading my mind”
One thing that’s a little different with me is that I decide I will finish it and then start another book and then foget about the boring book usually forever
Krazzyme recently posted..Waiting on Wednesday
This is similar for me, too! Though for the most part if I don’t get into it after the first couple pages, I’ll save it for a later day. Still, there are exceptions, such as Eat, Pray, Love, which I think I started at the end of last year, and am still reading. I like it a lot, I do, but for some reason I only read a couple chapters at a time (each chapter is only a page or so.) Maybe I’m savoring it?
I give up on books I don’t like, but sometimes I’ll go back to them at another point in life and I’ll enjoy them. It all depends, really. I didn’t like Harry Potter when I first tried it in 6th grade, but in 7th grade I thought it was the most amazing series in the universe. The same thing happens to me with TV shows. It took me three different attempts before I got into Buffy the Vampire Slayer. The first two times I couldn’t get past the first 5 minutes of episode 1.
Kimberly @ Love YA Books recently posted..{Cover Reveal and GIVEAWAY!!!} Focus by Alyssa Rose Ivy
My process is similar, but I usually just power through books that aren’t the most interesting for me. I feel that in most cases I should give the full book a chance if I am going to review. For the select few books that I do give up on, I read at least 100 pages and then I feel no guilt whatsoever when I stop. They had to have either made me very angry or very bored for me to stop.
titania86 recently posted..Something Strange and Deadly
“and a thorough Goodreads search for some not so positive reviews so that I can vindicate myself.” – this! Sometimes it’s so satisfying to go and find reviews that agree that the book is boring or just not worth reading!
I don’t like to give up on books, and I hardly ever do it, your steps were a lot of fun to read
VeganYANerds recently posted..Carnival of Souls by Melissa Marr
It’s The Worst when you can find no reviews that agree with you! That’s when you have to come to terms with the fact that it’s probably just your problem.
Ha. This was great. Personally, I’m over the guilt though. Life is too short. :Þ
Smash Attack recently posted..Smash & Amanda review Alien Proliferation by Gini Koch
Boredom – tweet “did anyone else NOT love it, is it JUST ME” – denial – I CAN DO IT – STILL Boredom – The decision.
That’s me!! I try not to do the guilt thing too often. Every once in a while I will, but most of the time I will put it up, not look at it, move on, and try not to feel the guilt.
GET IT OFF THE COFFEE TABLE LORI!!!
Reading Angel recently posted..September Page Count: Week 1 Top 20 + New Form
Haha! The next time I break up with a book I’ll put it in the freezer.
I have a pretty similar process – although there are a couple of books that just hit a couple of my Me No Like buttons early enough that I subject it to the 100 Page challenge – it if doesn’t get interesting/good/stop doing those annoying things by 100 pages, I drop it.
Had to do it to Throne of Glass.
AnimeJune recently posted.."Origin," by Jessica Khoury
Yupp, this is me too, though without the goodreads step. I usually get bored, set it down, pick up another book and then realize ten books later that I never finished that initial book. I’m horrible for it. Sometimes I’ll go back and try again, but not usually.
All. The. Time. Except I’m all ocd about finishing books once I read them, even if I don’t like them.
Stephanie recently posted..Booking Through Thursday (5)
Haha!! I loved this post!! I am the opposite, I keep pushing through books when I should obviously just give up. Most of the time I do like them enough, but the process of getting through them is long. I really should just stop if it’s taken me days to read half a book.
Amy @ Book Loving Mom recently posted..Cover Reveal Stalked by Death by Kelly Hashway
I need to break up with more books. I’m really trying to cut it off if I’m not getting into it within the first 50-100 pages. It’s hard though. I always have guilt if I don’t finish it.
Autumn @TheAutumnReview recently posted..The Winemaker’s Dinner: Appetizers by Dr. Ivan Rusilko and Everly Drummond Review & Giveaway
Just say no to bad books, Autumn!
It still makes me feel guilty every single time, but it goes away quickly and then you get to read a good book!
Yep!!! What you wrote exactly describes me. I’m glad I’m not alone!!!
#2 — denial, where surely it must be me since the book has gotten GLOWING reviews — yes yes yes to this. I usually power through books and don’t break up with them often enough. I really should. I did last week for the first time in a long time and I felt SO GUILTY.
Magan @ Rather Be Reading recently posted..Magan: Where You Are by Tammara Webber
This made me laugh because it is oh-so true. Like every last bit of it.
I went through very similar steps last night… although I got a few chapters in (not even 50 pages) and I felt myself skipping around and just not caring. I did go on GR and I’m like DAMMIT. People said this was so good. But uh, I just can’t do it. I do not give up books easily and maybe in the past year I have not read 3. Out of those 3, I think I got past 50 pages with 1.
Lovely, lovely. AND THE GUILT. ugh. I try to tell myself. Maybe I can try it again… the library will always have it.
Estelle @ Rather Be Reading recently posted..Magan: Where You Are by Tammara Webber
OMG YES! The guilt especially. Because then I never really know what to do with the book after that if I have a physical copy. It gets put into the “pile of shame,” where I allocate books I’m giving away. And they sorta stare at me, and I feel terrible. lol
KM recently posted..Review: The Iron Knight, by Julie Kagawa
I wish I could come to terms with DNFing. I’ve finished some truly horrendous books, oscillating between steps 3 and 4 throughout the entire thing. And I get angry at the book. And I complain. Sometimes I rant. But I force myself to finish. I think several of my reading ruts could actually be blamed on books that should have been DNFs, but I forced my way through them and by the end, I was utterly burnt out of reading. I need to aspire to THE DECISION. I think it would be liberating.
Lauren@The Housework Can Wait recently posted..#SYTYCD Book Pitch – Music Edition! (@MikeyWax @DANCEonFOX)
I admire your skill to finish! I just can’t do it. I start finding things to clean instead of reading. It’s bad.
Plus, I’m too OCD about getting ALL THE BOOKS read. I start hyperventilating if I get behind.
Excellent post. Wish this didn’t sound so incredibly familiar!
Sab (YA Bliss) recently posted..The Brides of Rollrock Island – Margo Lanagan
Awesome post! This is totally how I feel too. Except that I rarely end up breaking up with books cause I have this weird thing about finishing all the books I start :p So my Decision is really always the same. But other than that, this looks really familiar
Hannah @ Paperback Treasures recently posted..Review: Au Revoir, Crazy European Chick
Book breakups are something I struggle with. I have this problem where I have to finish a book no matter what. But that’s no way to be, right? Why keep reading something that you’re not enjoying! The boredom is the worst. Time is precious so a book needs to be engaging to make me want to keep reading. Thanks for articulating this process so well!
I love your step six that finding a book you enjoy helps to ease your guilt over putting your last book down.
Lucy @ The Reading Date recently posted..Throne of Glass Blog Tour: Review and Interview with Sarah J. Maas
sooo me
It’s like you read my mind. That is exactly my book breakup process.
Beth S. recently posted..Final Thoughts on Universal’s Islands of Adventure
WORD to this whole post!! Esp the guilt part, I’m like BUT WHAT IF IT GETS GREAT LATER ON…so I flip to the end which is a mistake cos you know, usually that doesn’t entice me to finish it.
elena recently posted..(she probably thought she’d fly) review: the virgin suicides by jeffrey eugenides
I never used to be able to give up on a book or a series. The need to KNOW was overwhelming lol Now I give a book to 100 pages or so and then let it go. I do skim to the end (or read spoilers if it’s a series I quit) so I know but plodding through books I disliked was ruining reading for me.
Karen recently posted..Saturday Spotlight: Cindi Madsen – Demons of the Sun
It definitely takes the fun out of reading!
Totally. I go through the whole “it’s not you, it’s me” when I go through GR’s reviews. It is so hard to get to the point that I say “no, it’s you and you are not the book for me”.
Amy @ bookgoonie recently posted..Clock Rewinders on a Book Binge (31)
This is so true! I usually deal with the guild by picking up my next book quickly. Sometimes I sell my DNF book back to the bookstore for credit that I can put towards other promising books! Great post!
Lola recently posted..Fever (The Chemical Garden #2) by Lauren DeStefano
AHAHAHHHAHAHA.
Lori I love this post and you.
Especially the part where you search goodreads for negative reviews so you can vindicate yourself, I do that too! I like to know I am not alone in disliking a book and that it’s not just me.
April Books & Wine recently posted..On The Wings Of Heroes Richard Peck Audiobook Review